Why do you even exist Rite Aid?

I only go to Rite Aid to buy things that they don't sell. Usually they are things that Rite Aid has no business selling in the first place, like a flash drive or an office chair. Then there are things that they probably don't sell, but it's worth a shot. For instance a bike light, so I could stop attempting to telepathically alert motorist that I'm riding in the street and desire not to die.

But I can't even find the things that they should be selling. I have been to three different Rite Aids looking for a chap stick lid that attaches to my key chain, because I know what's hip. They are no where to be found. If Rite Aid isn't selling key-chain-chap-stick-lids, what are they selling? And more importantly, who is supposed to sell key-chain-chap-stick-lids?

Rite Aid purposefully throws you off by stocking the front of the store with a plethora of useless, unassociated things. College football fan gear and American flags, bags of thirty mechanical pencils with a mini stapler (that attach to your key chain, in case you need to staple your chapped and bleeding lips shut on the fly), cases of caffeinated vitamin drinks and pumpkin pie scented candles. Try to find what you are looking for and you will find that they no longer sell hairbrushes, but instead you could buy two hangers for two dollars, which is by the way, a horrible deal. I comparison shop. Come in looking for toothpaste? Leave with a toaster. Come in looking for a toaster? Walk out with a Cosmopolitan, a hunter green pair of sweat pants and a digital camera.