True Meaty Truisms

These aren't meaty because there is some truth you can really sink your teeth into, these truisms are meaty because they are about meat. And not that fake meat that I like so much. These are made of real meat. They are true meaty truisms.

True meaty truism #1: Sincere is hard to pull off. If you are a robot. People think you are always just saying things because you are programmed to start every sentence with "I'm just saying this because it seems like the response you humans are expecting..." Do you know what else is hard to pull off? Jerky. Because it's tough. So... Sincere is tough. So is jerky. Tada!

True meaty truism #2: Everything is better with sausage. I had some help with this one because I'm not good at reading meat, or eating meat. I'm not good at reating meat. But I've done some reatsearch. Hot dogs are better with sausage. But not the links. That would be weird to have a hot dog with sausage links on top. Where would you put the relish? Hot dogs are better with sausage patties. On the side. And maple syrup. On the hot dog.

Running with unfunny, dull objects.

This is the joke story I told:

"I said, 'I need to get my bangs trimmed.' He said, 'How about I just find you some scissors?' I said (are you paying attention? This is the punchline.) 'I don't want scissors, I want to get my bangs trimmed.' Get it? Cause I don't know that scissors trim bangs. Get it?"

The person listening to the joke said:

"Have you had your I.Q. tested?"

The lesson of this joke story about a joke story is that joke stories that end with "Get it?" are not funny and so are banned from the blog. Starting now.

What rats like.

If you have rats in your hair, it might help if you stop putting bread on your head. Rats love bread.
No. That's me. I love bread.
Stop putting cheese in your hair. Rats love cheese.
If you don't have rats in your hair, still don't put bread or cheese in your hair. That's disgusting.

It's cold out. I can tell. I'm not wearing pants.

It is unseasonably warm for the beginning of November. But not that warm. Not so warm that you can go outside with out pants on. You could maybe go outside without a shirt. If you were covered in hair. There are all sorts of things you could do if you were covered in hair. Like cornrows. EVERYWHERE. But if you do that you should definitely wear a shirt.